Just Say It Already

So I stated last week that Monday was going to be leadership day for my blog. Well let me just preface this first one by saying that Mondays for me are not my big mercy days. Not that I have a lot on any other days either but Mondays are: let's just say shoot straight days. So here goes on my first leadership bullets for this blog.

• "Just say it already"

I have been in so many conversations with people over the years where there was so much said that had nothing to do with what needed to be said that it kills me. Quite frankly I have been the one initiating those types of conversations many times. When I think about why I choose to engage in conversation like that rather that get straight to the point I really had to unpack my reasoning behind it and this is what I came up with so here goes.

1. We don't just say it because we are afraid of what may happen if we do. But I think sometimes the better question is what happens if we don't. What will we sacrifice in our ministry or leadership or life if we choose not to engage in those Fierce Conversation. (this web site is part of Susan Scott's material from her book with the same title. Great stuff)
   
2. We don't just say it because we think it will work itself out. Quite frankly it does sometimes and maybe we have gained a small victory, but in the process lost some desire to communicate with the other person. When this happens distance is created in the relationship.
3. We don't just say it because we avoid a fight that way. I can tell you that for me this is true. When people come to me with issues about me that I disagree with I typically get angry first and get rational second. I am not saying that this is good, it is just the way I am and because of that I think that people who know me best may not even "just say it" to me. (side note this is not an call to everyone who has ever wanted to tell me something to come out of the wood works. I did not say I had a handle on it yet) HA HA

Maybe we need to take a que from the master confronter Jesus about just saying it. I was studying last week for my message and I was using the passage in John 4 about the woman at the well and Jesus engages her in conversation and the communication does not go very long until Jesus "Just says it" He lays out in front of her just who she is and what her life is like and in that moment she has to respond. There is no small talk, Jesus gets straight to the point because He know that if the woman deals with that issue many of the other things will fall in line.

Maybe this week you need to have some of those "Just Say It Already" conversations and see what happens. hey at least you will not have to spend 3 hours talking about nothing and get nothing resolved. Just know that in these types of conversations there is someone else involved and they may not respond the way that you want them to immediately. Give them time to process everything and consider coming back for a follow-up conversation.

Talk to you all Wednesday

relevant update halloween

It's Been A While

Well I was shocked to see how long it has been since I last blogged. And quite frankly I guess I just got out of the swing of things. I have since turned to Twittering because they are short bits of thoughts and I can then move on. I guess some would call this laziness while other may just assume that I have nothing really to say. Both of which could be true on any given day. So what I have decided to do is at least post something new three times per week. One will be spiritual in nature, one will be personal, and one will be leadership oriented. I think this will help me be accountable to actually do it and I will have implemented a system. So we will try it and see how things go. Here will be the schedule:

Monday- Sunday reflections/ leadership "careful I am sometimes grumpy on Monday

Wednesday- Spiritual

Friday- Personal/ update This will probably be via video so we will see how that goes.

Since today is Wednesday and we are launching this thing today I guess I need to talk about something spiritual. Well this morning I was able to visit a dear friend who was recently involved in what should have been a fatal motorcycle accident, however my friend Fred Stubbs is now in a rehab facility doing amazing. I know that this does not sound extremely spiritual but when I was with him this morning he was sharing how he has so much more to do for God and BTW he is 70 years young. I could not help but think of all of the people in the Bible who when they were old they we still doing great things for God. Moses, Abraham, Noah, David and many many more. When I looked at Fred and the adversity he has endured through the past few months and then compared it to the men of the Bible who were up there in years I was struck with something. I meet a ton of young church planters and pastors who get mad and even run at the first sign of adversity and yet this man I was with today was saying I want to endure through this adversity so that I can have more opprotunities to share Jesus with people. WOW!! I think Fred has once again taught me something. Adversity does not prevent you from ministering, it can actually enable you to minister on a whole new level. Thanks Fred!! you have taught me something one again. I think I understand Paul's passage a little better now.

Phillipians 4:11-13 (NLT)
11Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. 12I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.

I will choose to live in the moment that God has given me now and realize I will never have this opportunity again. So I will make the most of it. People around all of us today need to know that they can make it and it is our responsibility to let them know that they can through the power of Jesus. Thanks for modeling that Fred.

Susie and I are excited to announce the pre-release book/workbook, “30daysexchallenge-A Journey to Intimacy”

With all of the buzz about 30 days of sex, 101 days of sex, and even 365 days of sex, we are confident that those who are looking to improve their relationship for the long-run will find that 30daysexchallenge-A Journey to Intimacy, will provide them with the knowledge and practical help that they will need in order to build intimacy, not just for 30 days, but for the rest of their lives together. 30daysexchallenge takes a holistic approach to intimacy and guides the couple into four mini-challenges: spiritual, emotional, sexual, and physical. After each challenge is studied the couple is ready to engage in 30 days of sex. However, the challenge is not just 30 days of sex. We have provided 30 days of questions that encourages continued intimacy in the four areas studied, and will cultivate and promote an environment of love and passion.

But don’t take our word for it. Hear what Dr. David Clarke has to say about the 30daysexchallenge-A Journey to Intimacy.

“Do you want to learn how to bond with your spouse spiritually and emotionally? Do you want a better-much better-sex life? Of course you do. I do. We all do. The 30 Day Sex Challenge will help you get the marital intimacy you've lost. It's easy to read, refreshingly honest, intensely practical, and based on the Bible. Best of all, it works!”

David Clarke, Ph.D.
Christian psychologist and author of Cinderella Meets the Caveman


To purchase a pre-release copy of the book click below: